Your love is like an empty Nutella jar,

Like the feeling of coming home from school and finding out your sister ate the last pizza slice.

It’s like a drunk violinist trying to play guitar,

It’s like being thirsty and only having whiskey to drink,

It’s like dating a child who won’t stop crying,

Like those kids throwing tantrums at a supermarket.

Being with you is like trying to bathe a cat,

It’s like watching a cringy rom-com.

It’s like having to laugh at your boss’s jokes because you need to leave early.

You’re a piece of underwire coming out of my bra,

Doesn’t matter how much tape I put on your mouth,

You won’t stop talking.

It’s as if you’re a parrot only taught to swear.

Like a drunk raccoon trying to steal food,

You’re a choked dog with its mouth in the wrong place,

Like a drunk 80-year-old lady trying to hit you with her cane,

Like a crooked ugly painting your child brings home,

Like awful food you eat at your friend’s house,

While smiling to not be rude.

Your inconvenience is just like wearing pantyhose,

It won’t stay still neither leave for good.

It’s like being gifted ugly blue shoes,

Or wearing pants with holes on them.

It’s like choking on dry bread,

And spitting at your in-laws’ face.

It’s like writing your teacher’s name wrong,

When you ask for an extension.

It’s like trying to teach your 90-year-old grandpa how to use an iPhone.

It’s like being too drunk to change your clothes when you get home,

And waking up after you missed your 9am lecture,

After finding you aren’t even home.

Your love is like bitter coffee,

Mixed with green tea, and maybe even red bull.

However, your love tastes like fancy wine when you

Walk out of the room.