In The Dark
by Kaja Jean
I.
we rested on our backs,
absorbing what was left
of the day’s sun
through the rock
at the top
of a hill
on salt spring island.
the balmy pinks had melted
into a velvety indigo,
and you took your large wrinkled hand,
skin thick
from a hard day’s work
a hard many years
into my young palm,
smooth from a summer of sand and pacific waters.
you pointed out aquila, cygnus, and lyra,
among constellations i could never remember.
i listened to your soft, lulling legends
of greek memories in the sky.
your lores would end at the moon,
lit by the biggest star
in our snowy galaxy.
do you see the face in its black seas?
your voice a doughy bed
that man is me,
your company in the dark.
II.
years passed
the coast salish earth,
made of ancient
granite
and quartz
remained
protecting
our footsteps.
animals lent us
their woods,
oaks and firs guided
a path,
so that
after we climbed
at dusk
grand father
and daughter
could descend like
waddling raccoons
in shadows,
cautious
but unscathed.
III.
my hand
now folding
with its own timelines,
sets the phone down.
it’s spring
and the deer
have been eyeing your cabin
with their fawn
in the back field
noting
your absence
while i
have been isolating
with your
syrupy
and savory
plants,
waiting
for you to come home.
soon.
maybe.
IV.
tonight
through telephone
wires
i learned a
hollow sickness
brawny sickness
cryptic sickness
its only acquaintance
machines
during visitation hours
won.
grey
pallid
yellow
walls
greeted you
at your final minute.
did you know
i wanted
to be there
as it stole
your last breath
for itself?
did you know
how i
wished
to warm
your hand,
as you
had warmed mine,
the blood
from your
heart
pumping
into
my own
through your fingertips?
blood that
now,
i guess
has turned cold.
V.
i run out the door
and into the trees
upupup the small mountain
until i
drop
to my back
in the old clearing
on the old rock
in our old place.
i feel the absence
of your touch
as i grasp
for any
lingering
sun
in the ground
my chest
is heaving
i open
my eyes.
a storm of stars
welcomes me
and in the middle
is the moon
is you
my company
in the dark.